believing in the edge

i held your hand as if you'll be far away. as if you're near me. as if you're with me. i widened my eyes as if i'll never see you again. as if the savage lamentations in my dreams would not surrender without the windows of you. as if your iris really focused on mine. i drowned my lips with tears as if your lips would never damp them again. as if the echoes of your voice would soon vanish into oblivion which i thought i've always tried so hard to escape. as if the liquids of you really melt the barren corners of me. i filled you up with affection as if my pond of security will be emptied again and forever. as if this steel heart would stop beating without the warmth of your hand caressing. as if i've been really filled up by you. i held onto my breathe as if it would be the last breath that i'll ever have. as if the sight of you gone forever would slaughter my very existence. as if i really knew how to breathe. as if you're all i need. as if you're all i have. as if you can stay. as if you were mine.