alone with nostalgia.

Rewind for a day. Nakakalungkot mag-reminisce kapag dumadating na sa point na gusto mong ibalik yung dati kahit isang segundo lang, kahit saglit lang pero syempre hindi mo magawa. Minsan naiisip ko, para saan pa ang memories, mafufrustrate ka lang – this I uttered as my two greatest friends, Kelly and Aileen walked towards FC in UP Diliman just last week. We went there just so we can have some time together before another sem crush us (also, to have a sort of negotiation thing with my scriptwriting class prof. but unfortunately he didn’t come to see me. I hate him. Arrrgh.)

We just talked (and shouted?!) for hours about everything and anything that came to us - about school, family, relationships, dreams, vocabularies (scarcity, kiosk, dryness?), our high school days, our good old jokes, our future etc. I took them to FC (Faculty Center), to my college (which is Masscomm), to the Cine Adarna (UP Film Institute) and lastly to the Sunken Garden where we watched the clouds sail as we continued our conversation.

After that, we went to Glorietta. Aileen bought us waffles first when we were still in Quezon Ave. MRT station (she always treat us, you know. Whatta rich girl! yebah! Hehe) and we ate it when we reached the place. Nothing, we just strolled and window-shopped. We goofed again and laughed and goofed again. Then we abruptly decided to go home and eat goto in Bayan (sa bayan ng San Pedro, Laguna. Mabuhay!) as we reminisce the times when we used to eat together there after classes instead since it’s already getting dark and we didn’t want to be stuck in the traffic (unfortunately, the first bus that we got in was doomed by some teki problems so we had to be transferred to another bus).

The day was really a blast. I was nothing but so so so happy to be with them again. God knows how I love those guys. I really do. I am not as happy (and crazy?) when I am with others than when I am with them. Like what Kelly said “ngayon lang kasi ako ulit sumaya ng ganito” – yeah, I also felt the same way. You see, it’s really different when I’m with them (my high school and forever best friends). I feel so myself when I’m with them, I mean the bubbly, crazy and wild ME. I just missed my old self. The real me. haaay… I just love you, guys. Sobra.

Feeling the sepia times.

Maselang bahaghari sa aking isipan wag kang mabahala di kita malilimutan, paglipas ng ulan ay babangon muli ang araw. wag sanag mawala ang maselang bahaghari. This E-heads cd makes me more nostalgic. Aaawww. How I miss the 90’s - my innocent-simple-but-happy days. The days when I used to take a bath in the poso with my brothers as we play toy boats and toy guns. My tomboyish days – full of scars, bruises, sun burn, cries, laughter, silly adventures, make-believe reality, bikes, piko, taguan, patintero, langit-lupa, ten-twenty, beinte-uno, taguan.

The bleeding star.

It’s only a couple of days since I decided to be a cartoon star but I kind-of miss my pink-black-bleeding self already. I miss my poetry so so much. However, I’ve decided to do some sketching and doodling for a while (a thing that I haven’t done for a long time) since I’ve finally found Kaia, my super charcoal pencil (how about naming all of my stuffs?) in my treasure chest full of small wonders (tenen!). But for sure I’ll continue my poetry perhaps after a few weeks or months ‘til I finally liberate myself from . . . some of my melodramatic-and-silly-but-also-metaphoric issues.

And yeah, I am looking forward to seeing you again. I also miss the pain.