i reflect.

Talking about regrets.

A lot of people usually envy me when discussing this stuff. It’s because I could give hundreds and hundreds of opinions and stories about anything regarding the features of my life but not, never when talking about regrets. Yeah it’s really weird (I, myself even find it so weird) but I actually find it hard to share – or even recall – any regret within the 18 years of my stay here in the face of this planet. Of course I’ve done a lot of mistakes and I’ve lost so much as well yet I still don’t feel the burden of feeling sorry for myself. I cannot even recall a time when I brood over the things that I should’ve done but I didn’t, the same as with the things that I shouldn’t but I did. Perhaps, it’s because I find it a lot easier to forgive; not just to forgive other people, but to forgive myself as well. I may have done so many faults and it may be illogical to state them all because of their abundance but those faults never remain as faults as time goes by. My mistakes and losses then turn out to be the wealth that I carry as I go forward with my life. I do not hate them but instead I love them for without them I wouldn’t learn so much and I don’t think I would be here where I am right now. What matters most is the idea of the present and the fact that I am doing fine despite all of those that had already happened. Things happen for a reason and people act because they are bounded by certain circumstances that are inevitable. We may have committed the wrong decisions but that is partly because of the alternatives that are already laid before us. Indeed, we may choose what to do but the choices that are previously offered to us are still beyond our control. Hence, are actions are still dominated by some superior power – it may be God or what – but whatever or whoever it is I do not know. It’s just that my faults do not evolve to regrets later in life. They just don’t. Pretty glad it’s the way it is for me ^_^.

On holding on.

This holding on thing actually frustrates me most of the time. It’s just that I cannot accept the truth – every time it strikes me - that at some point in time, people eventually let go and it’s a horrible thing when you found out later that it’s only you who’s left holding on. Holding on to something that others have already given up.

Things such as this happen every time on every thing – on friendships, relationships, dreams. It just makes me miserable to see how little faith most of us have in some situations. I mean, most people today rarely believe in forever, in magic, in prayers, in love, in happy ending, even in hope.

Preserving long-lasting relationships be it friendship or romantic ones is difficult yet possible. Sticking to your dream no matter how big or impossible it may seem is also tough yet at the same time very attainable if we would only grip tighter and believe that we can make it. Unfortunately, as I’ve said a while ago most of us have already lost this sense of thinking. We easily give up and we take things for granted, even our vows to ourselves.

Touching lives.

Masakit magpaalam sa taong natutunan mo ng mahalin at naging parte na ng buhay mo pero mas masakit magpaalam sa taong hindi naman naging sa’yo pero binago yung takbo ng buhay mo.

Some former-special-someone-but-never-became-an-ex sent this to me. Silly me, I couldn’t help but to smile and sigh at the same time. It’s really amazing how far you could go touching other people’s lives without even knowing about it. You see, I may have this real little idea of making a difference on this person’s life but for sure I may never know how far I went. He even broke up with his recent girl friend, rearranged his edgy life, did well on his studies, tried to be a little friendlier, even shaved his head all because of me (but of course the shaving part was not that inspiring. Hehe). So what do we know.

I remember this friend of mine, a classmate just this 1^st semester - who had this terrible thing about his past love life, saying that the girl he loved years ago still haunts him - who had a major transformation just before the semester ends when he met this real beautiful girl (who also happened to be our class mate) who brought him back to his sunny view on life and love. I already knew about it the moment I saw his eyes sparkle and his dimples show the moment I first saw them talking in the corner of our classroom. And now well I only saw him yesterday and guess what? He just got his head shaved (also). Perhaps, that beauty really inspired him to get up and move on with life again (you should have seen him before, he was really slob-looking). I’m expecting a few more changes in him. A wardrobe make-over maybe?

But of course it’s not all about love and romance. Each of us can affect other people, may it be a friend, a relative, a superior, even a stranger (I can recall lots of strangers who I’ll treasure in my life and memory forever). Remember those you sit with inside the bus, the train even the queue (I just met some real nice persons just the other day when I was in queue for the payment of our registration fee). We’ll never really know.